Since officially becoming single, part of me craved a real relationship. Well not part of me, all of me craved a relationship, I just couldn't handle all the time I had in my head space, all the nurturing needs and I just wanted to love. The thing is, the universe made sure I had some down time to myself to identify the issues I had within myself which made me lower my standards to get into dysfunctional relationships.
A deep dive made me realize that I got married for all the wrong reasons, no wonder the marriage failed.
So much more to learn about myself, the thought of being alone forever scares me, more than loneliness, I want to experience what its like to be in a real relationship. The sort of relationship that allows you to post a pic on FB (my ex husband was never FB friends with me, go figure), or make plans together or just a normal relationship.
Typing this made me realize that I was in the most weirdest marriage in the history of marriages.
Which brings me back to - there's a lot I need to learn about myself
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